- summer camp convention 2009 (theme: "pressing on")
I learned so many things during the three days we had our convention. Our patience and our faith were put to test during those times.
Intimacy would really lower our self-esteem, am I right? 
Mychurch band and I were assigned to lead the singing of songs during our worship service for the last night. During the morning, I was surprised to find that my voice became husky. I felt as if I can't talk normally and that was the start. I was denying that something was wrong with my voice even though a lot of my churchmates kept noticing it. I was talking with God, and claiming that He would heal me. I thought, "I'm not going to entertain any negative thoughts." For the past days, I have not drank anything cold, and I knew I took good care of my voice. It was unusual that it just happened before our part in the service.
All morning, I kept shut my mouth and just concentrated on listening to the lecturer. Yet, I failed to really focus on the lectures for an itsy-bitsy voice kept saying on my mind that I can't lead the singing of songs and that I can't put myself to shame. It keeps saying, "Do you really like to get embarassed? What if you go out of tone? What if?" Thousands of What if's started jumping up and down inside my confused mind.
I was thinking that I was the only one under pressure, and I didn't know what was coming.
Visitors from another church far from our place joined the last day of our convention. They arrived in the afternoon and we were really quite uncomfortable by what they did.
During our afternoon break, the visitors went on stage where my band mates were fixing some chords. They started playing the instruments and singing some Christian songs. We were all like "WOW.. they are so good." I didn't know that my band mates were getting intimidated. They were starting to doubt that they can play for the last night.
- THROUGHCHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME....
-Icould sense that my band mates were losing faith in themselves. Each one of us were being put down and we felt like grasshoppers. They kept saying, "The visitors are so good, I think I can't play our songs good enough." The thought of not being able to do it was also being entertained in my mind.
-But, praise God, He reminded us that it was not our ability nor through our own can we do things. For our own efforts are nothing if we don't have Jesus. It's not also the audience, nor the visitors nor our pastors that we were to please. But it was Jesus, the reason of our worship leading. We prayed to Jesus to remove our thoughts of intimacy and asked Him to be in us as we are to do our part for the last night.
- ... I CAN DO ALL THINGS
-Before our night service for the last day, my band mates and I went at the back of our hall. We cried out to God and asked for His covering. Smiles flashed when we finished praying and I knew that we became giants and not anymore grasshoppers.
- DO IT FOR GOD'S GLORY!
-That moment, I thought that everything happened for a purpose, sometimes we think that we are doing things for Jesus but really, we are doing it to satisy ourselves. I feel that if we hit the perfect note, play the guitar or piano very well, that we become great worship leaders. Yet, our worship becomes a variety show or even a concert by artists.
God reminded us of that lesson. Though people would see us weak, or not capable of doing things, God lifts us up and makes us His instrument-that is if we are willing to humble ourselves before Him.
It is important that we let God take control of everything, just as Carrie Underwood sang, "Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hand, coz I can't do this on my own." God is waiting for us to give our lives to Him, not a half of it but wholly.
In times of trials and obstacles, we can just bend our knees and bow our heads. Let us not get disappointed on things that we can't achieve at the moment. Let us not also give up on our journey. Let's keep on Pressing On....
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thanks for reading this blog! 
date:04/26/09
NeverGive Up On Me .mp3 -
When you think it's the end
